Pain, heartache, mistreatment, rude comments, being treated like a doormat, being pushed around, being taken advantage of, pointed at, whispered about and made fun of. This is what it is like to be super morbidly obese.
I know. I was there once. After losing more than 250 pounds, by the grace of God I am no longer there, but I coach those who are. When I hear the depths of abuse they go through and have gone through, I am angry that so-called “family” and “friends” who would treat them less than human.
However, what happens is the obese woman feels like she must do everything everyone wants so she won’t be alone. However, doing everything for everyone without any boundaries around her time and energy is one thing that is making her continue to go to the high carbohydrate foods she loves. She thinks those foods give her energy. They do for a short time, but then her blood sugar plummets and she needs more to get the same feeling and thus begins the roller coaster ride she calls her life.
Inside she is silently angry at all the people she is helping because all she wants is to feel loved and accepted. She’s there for everyone else whenever they need her, but they aren’t there at midnight when she’s eating a whole pan of brownies by herself and crying because she feels … Alone. Abandoned. Worthless.
She eats to shut up the angry child within her, the one who wants to scream at somebody. The pesky voice in her head tells her, “Good girls don’t get angry. Good girls are nice. Good girls do what others want them to do. Good girls are people pleasers. And fat girls have to do everything everyone else wants them to do or they will be …. alone.”
God has a message for every person who has ever felt this way. He wants you to know that you are valued and loved. On more than one occasion I’ve heard Him speaking directly to my heart something like this.
“Hey, Beautiful One. I see you, the real you, the wonderful woman you are, a woman with thoughts and feelings, knowledge and wisdom. I see the gold inside of you, the person who was buried a long time ago through all the pain and hurts of your life. The one you tried to bury with more and more and more foods that are only making you sicker.
“Still, I love you, Beautiful One. I love who you are. I love who you are becoming. I love every piece of you. I don’t want you used or abused by yourself or anyone else. I want you to love yourself like I love you. And I love you more than you can ever comprehend.”
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