Do you ever have days when you want to just fix the world? The last month or more this desire became overwhelming because I realized I can’t fix the world and neither can anyone else. So I did what most of the world is doing now—basically the essentials plus watching a lot of tv and reading books.
I wanted to write, but I just couldn’t. Then, something upsetting happened. When I feared it was happening, I was mortified! I really shouldn’t have asked my husband, but I did.
“Is my hair turning gray in places I can’t see?” I asked him.
White Is Not OK
Then, as the ever-helpful husband he always is, he took a picture of the back of my head and I couldn’t stand it. It looked like someone had poured white paint on my hair. My hair wasn’t turning gray, it was turning white!
With the shelter in place orders we really hadn’t been anywhere for anyone else to see me, but still my hair was white and this just wasn’t OK.
My great grandmother had gorgeous white hair. So, I’ve always wondered what I would look like with white hair. Bald is what it would look like. I’m too fair-skinned to have white hair. Gray might be OK, but not white. I knew if I didn’t do something it would be white before my hair salon could reopen.
Color In A Box and Other Mishaps
I remembered days long gone by when my hair first started turning gray. I was actually in my 30s when it began happening. I couldn’t afford to go to the beauty salon so I bought the hair color in a box.
I hated the mixing and the general mess it made all over me, the bathroom and any clothes I had on. Cleanup was harder than the application which wasn’t easy for me to do by myself. It seemed like the color only lasted a few weeks and I’d have to do it over again.
Then, there were the years that I’d just go to a fast, in and out hair salon. I’d get a different hair dresser every time and every time they seemed to do something I didn’t like. But they were less expensive than a lot of places and could take me on a moment’s notice. Time and money were both things I was short on back then.
When Everything Changed
Then everything changed in my life. God called me to write my first book, Sweet Grace: How I Lost 250 Pounds and Stopped Trying to Earn God’s Favor. The book took off like wild-fire and become number one in Christian Weight Loss Memoirs on Amazon.
When I realized I was going to have to speak at my own book launch party, my writing coach, Wendy Walters, had a heart-to-heart with me. “Find a hair dresser you trust to style and color your hair. Get your nails done. Get some makeup and learn how to apply it correctly. Get some new clothes. Discover the new you.”
I realized I was still dressing and acting like I weighed 430 pounds. Plus I was still married to the rules my Dad had about no makeup and not calling attention to myself as a woman. I was living by rules that I no longer believed, but really had no paradigm for how to shift gears.
Still, I knew she was right. So, I did everything she suggested and got people to help me come into this century. The best was finding Debbie, a hair dresser who goes to my church. For the last seven years she has been my hair lifeline. I go to her at least every month like clockwork.
Until the world deemed her non-essential.
I beg your pardon? My hair dresser is not non-essential. She helps me feel better about myself. She keeps me from feeling like a great grandmother when I don’t even have a grandchild yet.
Although I so wanted her to do my hair and I hope and pray that by May, the world will have deemed her essential, I still needed help like today! I needed my hair colored if for no other reason than a psychological boost.
My Husband and $2.68
I did the only thing I knew to do. For $2.68 I ordered my Revlon Medium Brown hair color that came in two days. Today, my husband, who has never once let me down and knows nothing about how to color hair, colored my hair making sure to get the back covered.
The result? I feel like I’m 10 years younger. No more white roots, at least not until I have to wash my hair. Then, we’ll see.
I was amazed at what something so insignificant did to make me feel better. It’s like I have a new outlook on everything. I’m even a bit OK that I can’t fix the world’s problems.
Since the entire world has shut down, I’ve had some major writer’s block. In trying to decipher what obstacle I needed to remove I finally began to realize the only obstacle was within me.
I have plenty of time. No interruptions. No place to go. I’ve watched all the tv shows I’ve recorded and there’s nothing more to watch. I’ve even read most of the books I had saved for such a time as this. My office is set up. I have my computer, internet and my comfortable chair just waiting for me.
All I needed to do was sit down and write. Instead, I was stressing over what color my hair was. What’s up with that? Why can’t I just settle in and write without worrying about picky details, which in the long-run don’t matter?
Can You Fix the World?
For me I know some of the reason I can’t allow myself to settle in and write is that the world feels broken right now. Everywhere I turn someone else has a different solution to fix it. Around and around and around their solutions go in my head.
I want to fix this. I want to go back to my hair dresser. I want to go back to the community pool where I’ve exercised every weekday for over 10 years. I want to go back to my church. I want to have my small group meet in my home again. I want to have an extended family get-together at my house. I want to fix this, but I can’t and neither can anyone else.
So instead of doing my part, the part God has called me to do which is writing the vision and making it plain, I decided to do one thing I could take care of—color my hair. For today that’s all I needed in order to I sit down at my computer and start writing.
Refreshment from God
I breathed a sigh of relief because writing is one thing I know God has anointed me to do and it makes me feel good to do what He has called me to do. Although what I write may not change the world, maybe what I write will change or help one person.
I was reminded of Matthew 11:28-29 TPT where Jesus says, “Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to Me I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with Mine. Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in Me.”
My eyes went down to a footnote I’d never seen before that said the Aramaic could be translated: “Come to Me and I will cheer [refresh] you. I am cheerful [refreshing] and humble in heart, and you will find cheer [refreshing] for your soul.”
Let God Fix It
Then, I understood what had happened. God cheered me up and refreshed me today and all it took was $2.68 and my husband. That small refreshing prompted me to sit down and write these words. Now that I’m here, I’m ready to get back to the book I need to finish. It’s been waiting for several weeks until I figured out I can’t fix the world.
I can’t fix the world. Neither can you. But we can do what God called us each to do. He called me to write. And you can do what He called you to do. So instead of stressing over what we can’t do, let’s get down to what we can do.
What can you do? What has God called you to do? What obstacle is keeping you from that?
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