What do you do when you feel rejected? What do you do when people say you don’t measure up to their seemingly unmeasurable standard? Do feel everything you say or do is being rejected?
Feeling rejected is a real emotional disturbance. It can make us feel like quitting. Why go on when everything we do seems to be criticized and pointed out as wrong? Rejection, like all the negative emotions we feel, is encouraged by the enemy of our souls.
Many times, rejection comes from a person who feels the need to be in control. In some way, they feel inadequate themselves so if they can put you down it makes them feel like they are better than you are. It comes from a need to constantly compare themselves to others.
Trying to Control Rejection
When I was super morbidly obese, I’d walk into church on Sunday morning and peruse the crowd. If I felt I was the largest person there, I’d sit on the back row so I could leave quickly. If not I’d move up a few rows. I enjoyed being closer but I didn’t want to be seen at the weight I was. If I thought there was someone larger there then I figured people would stare at him or her and not me. So I felt a bit more secure.
I thought I was controlling my environment, but in reality, it was my need to feel accepted that made me choose where I sat. It was also a need to control the only thing I thought I could control. At that point, it was how visible I was to the rest of the church members. Back row meant I was less visible, at least I told myself that.
When we feel rejected, it’s usually not just an in-the-moment feeling. Our rejection is being spurred on by something in our past. Most of the time, it is from something someone said or did to us when we were children. Whatever happened to us when we were 6 or 9 or 12 or whenever it was is still steering our emotional response to our current circumstances.
Rejected By Three-Year-Old
When I was around 12, I was playing hide-and-go-seek with the kids in our neighborhood. I was “it” and was looking for the rest of the kids. One of them was a three-year-old. He saw me and he knew I saw him and he wouldn’t be able to get to the base in time.
So, he taunted me and said, “Crisco, Crisco fat in the can, you couldn’t catch me no matter how fast you ran.” His plan worked. I got so upset at his little rhyme that I stomped away and went to my room in my own house.
I took what a three-year-old said to heart and felt the pain of rejection.
Out of Rejection and Into Acceptance
Rejection really means we aren’t approved or accepted. Acceptance means that are seen favorably and are approved. One is the opposite of the other. The spiritual truth that will help us overcome rejection is feeling accepted.
As long as we are His, God will never reject us even if we’ve sinned. His acceptance of us is based on whether or not we have put our faith in His Son and not what we have or haven’t done. God was really adamant about this when He was trying to explain to the Jewish believers why faith in Him was the necessary ingredient to salvation.
Paul said it this way in Romans 10:3-4 TPT, “Since they’ve ignored the righteousness God gives, wanting instead to be acceptable to God because of their own works, they’ve refused to submit to God’s faith-righteousness. For Christ is the end of the law. And because of Him, God has transferred his perfect righteousness to all who believe.”
We are not accepted by God because of our good works. We are accepted by Him because of our faith in Christ. Romans 10:13 TPT says this plainly, “Everyone who calls on the Lord’s name will experience new life.” God was telling them even though the plan for redemption had changed, they were included if they simply placed their trust in God.
Rejection Is Not From God
We have to understand that rejection does not come from God. However, when we feel rejected by a person, it brings up messages that tell us we are no good to anyone for anything.
Then we feel like God thinks the same thing about us. We feel that He has rejected us, but He doesn’t. He doesn’t have to prove He’s in control. He’s God. He knows He is in charge.
Sometimes we feel rejected because we know we are not following what God wants us to do. We only have to renew and confirm our commitment to Him t feel that closeness with Him. He hasn’t moved. We have. We need to move closer. It’s what He wants. James 4:8 AMP explained the simplicity of how to do this. “ Come close to God, with a contrite heart, and He will come close to you.”
Changing your habits and losing weight is not easy. We feel rejected because of our size. We don’t like ourselves and so we think others don’t like us either. Changing our habits and losing weight is not easy.
We feel rejected because of our size. We don’t like ourselves and so we think others don’t like us either. We want to throw in the towel and just give up. We use excuses like I can’t lose weight, no diet works for me, I’m a failure. I know, I wrote Sweet Excuses about that very thing.
God has all we need to complete our journey and He will help us. “And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19 ESV). When God calls us to do something or complete a specific task and we feel we can’t, all we have to do is ask for what we need. If we need it to do what He has told us to do, He will supply it.
God Accepts You
Out of the more than 7.8 billion people in the world, God still knows you. Your name is engraved or written on the palms of His hands (Isaiah 49:16). He has every hair on your head numbered (Matt. 10:30). His thoughts about you specifically outnumber the grains of sand in the world (Psalms 139:17-18). That’s huge my friends. Huge.
That alone should let you know that God not only accepts you, but He is also madly in love with you. As Romans 8:31 NLT says, “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” God is for us. We are not rejected. God accepts us. Do you believe that?
For more on this subject, listen to Sweet Grace for Your Journey podcast, episode 163: From Rejected to Accepted. Go here: https://TeresaShieldsParker.com/podcast/.