One day I overheard Mom and Grandma talking about the clothes I had in my tiny closet. It was the middle of the school year. We didn’t buy clothes except at the beginning of school, but I couldn’t wear any of the dresses in my closet and the shoes were hurting my toes. She and Grandma were having me try on clothes to see if they fit.
I was in the bathroom and heard Mom say to Grandma, “She just keeps gaining weight. She’s in husky sizes. I can’t find anything in girls’ sizes to fit her and women’s sizes don’t work yet. If they fit in the waist, they are way too big in the top. She’s got to stop gaining weight, but it’s like she just can’t stop eating.”
Mom’s voice was a frustrated whisper. Grandma said, “It’s nothing to fret about. Kids have to eat. God gave her a healthy appetite. She can’t help gaining weight. She needs to grow.”
Out of that conversation, I assumed Grandma agreed with Mom that I can’t stop gaining weight. I allowed what I ascertained as truth to begin to take root in me. What else could I do when the two maternal figures in my life agreed? It felt entirely like a truth. I can’t lose weight. I will never be able to lose weight. It’s impossible for me to lose weight.
Half-Truth
It was true that as a child I couldn’t lose weight. I was not meant to lose weight. I was designed to grow. I did not have the ability to figure out if what my Mom said was true. I certainly never thought it was a lie. When I perceived what Grandma said supported this, it became a solid truth.
The Bible says, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man (or woman), I did away with childish things,” 1 Cor. 13:11 AMP)
I believed Mom. I had evidence to support what she was saying. I was growing, gaining weight and needing larger size clothes. I wasn’t fat, but I was at least a size larger than most girls in my class. It became a belief of mine that it was impossible for me to lose weight.
Identifying Lies
When I became an adult, I still believed this lie because I saw it happen time and time again. I’d go on a diet and lose 100 pounds only to gain it back when I’d hit the goal because I’d start eating my comfort foods again.
I’d tell myself, “It’s true. I can’t lose weight because I just gain it back. It’s possible for others, but not for me. I am destined to remain fat for the rest of my life. It is impossible for me to lose weight.” I had allowed this lie to become a full-blown stronghold in my life. Breaking it was going to take some work.
For God to get my attention with His truth on this subject, He needed to show me how untrue the statement I can’t lose weight was. He had to jolt me into the reality of my predicament.
In 1999, I was in the hospital for a possible mitral valve replacement. I vividly remember the cardiac surgeon walking into my room and telling me, “You don’t need heart surgery. You need to lose weight. Your heart was never designed to pump blood through a body of your size. You need to lose 100 pounds and keep it off or you will be dead in five years.”
So, I lost 100 pounds by going on a high-protein diet I’d been on before. Like all the other times, though, I began gaining the weight back after losing it. I kept it off longer, but I began eating sugar-laden foods again. The truth is, it’s impossible for me to lose weight if I eat foods that contain processed sugar. When I start eating those kinds of foods again, I can’t stop. They are very addictive to me.
Dying Sweetly
Understanding the deeper reality behind this was right in front of me, but I did not know how to face it or fully embrace it. For many years I wallowed in this place of losing weight is impossible. Rooted in my childhood, this belief went deep and stayed until God brought me face-to-face with my problem.
Then, God revealed to me that I am a sugar addict. I knew that the only way to get free from any addiction is to stop indulging in it. Every time I’d go on a diet where I gave up sugar and bread, I could lose weight. I just never saw it as something I’d have to do for the rest of my life. Understanding that felt like a tremendous weight was lifted from me, but in its place was the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
God knew my tendencies. He knew my biggest weakness. He revealed it to me early, so I would not have to suffer through years of super morbid obesity. He was not trying to be mean to me by telling me not to eat sugar. He was trying to keep me from the one thing which would kill me quicker than anything else. I just didn’t want to listen to the cure for my problem.
Addressing the Stronghold
This stronghold of I can’t lose weight had become a negative prophecy which the evil one repeated to me often. He even mimicked Mom’s voice when he said it. “You can’t lose weight. You’re destined to always be fat. It’s impossible so just stop trying.”
When I felt like I had no way to stop the inevitable weight gain, I fed the feeling of hopelessness with the only thing I knew would quiet it and allow me to go about in a somewhat normal state of emotions. Comfort foods anesthetized my pain for a short time, then I needed more to get the same feeling.
When I came to the end of myself and totally surrendered to what God had been telling me, my life began to transform. The switch in my brain happened in an instant the moment I recognized the truth. The truth is I can lose weight if I stop eating sugar.
For more on this subject, listen to episode 123 of Sweet Grace for Your Journey podcast, God of the Impossible. https://www.teresashieldsparker.com/podcast/
Teresa Shields Parker is a Christian weight loss author, coach, podcaster, and speaker, who has lost 250 pounds and kept it off since 2013. Her books include: “Reconnecting Jayne: Her Sister’s Support,” “Rebuilding Jayne: Her Father’s Protection,” “Sweet Grace: How I Lost 250 Pounds and Stopped Trying to Earn God’s Favor,” “Sweet Grace Study Guide,” “Sweet Victory: Winning the Battle,” “Sweet Surrender: Breaking Strongholds,” “Sweet Journey to Transformation: Practical Steps to Lose Weight and Live Healthy”, “Sweet Freedom: Losing Weight and Keeping It Off With God’s Help,” “Sweet Freedom Study Guide,” “Sweet Change: True Stories of Transformation,” “Sweet Hunger: Developing an Appetite for God,” and “Sweet Excuses: Stop Lying to Yourself & Start Losing Weight.” She also offers Overcomers Christian Weight Loss Academy and VIP intensive coaching. Don’t miss her weekly podcast, Sweet Grace for Your Journey, where she shares tips from her personal journey of losing weight and discovering healthy living. Contact her at [email protected].